Jilly Wood
I live in London and I love it – there’s always so much going on! I have been a romance junkie all my life, but I’ve never tried to write one before. I’m hoping to learn a lot from the feedback.
Jilly’s Entry
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Marrying McKenzie
by Jilly Wood in Contemporary Romance
Submitted on Monday 03 October, 2011, 10:52 AM
Everyone knows entrepreneur Ian McKenzie Kinross. He plays to win, and he isn’t choosy about his methods. Nobody knows jewellery designer Rose Lloyd, but that’s about to change. Falling in love rocks Rose's world, but it could destroy IMK's. Rating:
(56% by 24 users)
Jilly Wood
Thursday 06 October, 2011, 1:17 PM
Comment on Marrying McKenzie
Thank you very much, Judy.
#12 | Report this comment
Jilly Wood
Thursday 06 October, 2011, 12:57 PM
Comment on Marrying McKenzie
Hi Heidi
Thank you so much for taking the trouble to read my chapter, and for giving such detailed feedback. I really appreciate it.
I’ve read my submission again, and I see what you mean about pacing and about the lack of intimacy between Rose and IMK. A lot of what I wrote is useful setup (hopefully it’s not too obvious), but I think I could cut quite a bit and speed things up. I could then accelerate the next, more intimate, scenes between Ian and Rose.
I think I have good internal conflict to come. I obviously need to do more to make the reader anticipate it.
I wanted Rose to see Ian as he appears to the world – handsome, attention-seeking, unscrupulous and careless of people’s feelings. Obviously he can’t be that person, or there could be no romance. He’s not motivated by money (well he is, but not in order to buy a new Ferrari), nor is he dominated by his mother. I didn’t want to give too much away, but it seems I’ve made him too unsympathetic. I need to get the reader more clued in.
Thank you again! Now all I have to do is write it.
#11 | Report this comment
Jilly Wood
Thursday 06 October, 2011, 10:25 AM
Comment on Marrying McKenzie
Thank you very much Lisa, Lea, Manny, Annabel, Samantha, Steph and Melissa. I really appreciate your encouragement. I am really enjoying myself and I am definitely going to writ e the rest of IMK and Rose's story.
#9 | Report this comment