5 roses from me. You have put such a lot of effort into shaping your characters and making it flow. It is effortless to read and stands out from many other entries, for me at least. Pace is good and your voice comes through.
Sienna is very appealing and a great contrast to Blake.
And as for Blake...*sighs*...,enough said, he's gorgeous.
I hope you are through (despite the Rose-bombers efforts!).
I'm with you Jennifer! The rosebombers are certainly out in full swing this year.
Anyway, on to your chap, Catherine.
I loved it. Blake is deliciously wounded and I desperately want Sienna to heal him! The only hitch (and it's teeny) was the close. It fell a little flat for me.
All said, you are a very talented writer and I think you are the perfect fit for Medicals - which I love. I would certainly buy the book.
This entry just confirms to me that I should ignore the roses. At this time, yours is only rated a 57% and that is crazy! This is one of the best I have read so far. There were a few holes in the story that I think other people have pointed out. (Why she didn't notice his leg was missing, why Simon hadn't told him about his dad dying, how she seemed to know he was there...)
Those are just small things easily fixed.
The important things such as voice and pacing are right on target. You quickly draw the reader in and captivate them with this compelling story. I also like your descriptions. I'm not surprised that you have already sold a medical (as you said on your blog). You definitely have a talent for this type of writing.
Thoroughly enjoyed your chapter Catherine! Very well written, and it really makes me want to read more. I like the stubborn streak in both of them. You've created two fascinating and likeable characters, not to mention HOT characters. Best of luck! ;-)
Blake is a hero to die for! And Sienna has just what it takes to make him whole again. Congratulations, Catherine, on creating a wonderful story that really tugs at the heartstings!
Catherine really enjoyed this! You write really, really well. I did think by having your heroine suddenly confess that about her ill father at the end of the chapter you are lessening the great tension you had been building between them. That could be revealed later. But I did like this a lot. Great job and good luck! Jen
Hi Catherine - this was the first entry I read a couple of weeks ago and since then I've read A LOT yet this is still by far the one that sticks in my mind the most - I'm with Caroline on this one. Catherine Coles for top twenty (would be nice if I could join you there hehe!)
Yikes! I read this *ages* ago and thought I'd left a comment - but I hadn't - sorry! So better late than never - this is a Stella entry - I loved it. Well done Catherine - and I'll eat my hat if your story doesn't go through to the 2nd round. Caroline x
Catherine, Thanks for your comment. I love when people help me grow as a writer. I commented back if you want to have a peek and tell me what you think of my revision ideas. Anyway, back to your story. I liked it a lot. It's great. Well written. I love the tension coming from Blake. They already seem like they were made for each other. I can't wait to read more. The only thing I noticed was a few words missing and once you had a couple words that needed to be swapped. Other than that great job.
Hi Catherine, I thoroughly enjoyed your chapter - it was one of the first I read before I registered. The damaged hero who can only be healed by the heroine is always appealing (It's a theme in my story too...!) I liked your characters and I'm keen to find out how their story unfolds - so good luck with chapter 2
Well, you don't really need me to reiterate what others have already said, but this is a really powerful entry. Sweet, tender, compelling with two exceptionally engaging and relatable characters. Your voice is very evocative and your style equally so. I loved the fact that your hero is so traumatised by his injury that he has tried to keep it a secret – which said to me that he had in no way come to terms with the lose of his leg - his conflict felt very real and also heartbreaking without being maudlin. Similarly with your heroine we had a strong sense of a woman who's outward toughness hides a tender soul struggling to cope with her father's illness.
If I had any tips for this entry (and to be honest it was hard to find anything to criticise) I would say maybe you could cut a little of the backstory early on in the chapter. You really don’t need the information in Blake’s internal thought about renting the cottage from Simon for example, because he goes on to explain it when speaking to Sienna.
I was also a little confused that Sienna hadn’t noticed he had lost part of his lower leg as I got the impression he hadn’t put the prosthetic on. I think maybe you need to clarify that or it has the potential to confuse your readers and pull them out of the story.
One thought I did have for the story going forward: I would be a bit wary of allowing Blake to keep his disability secret from Sienna for too long, because that has the potential to frustrate your readers wondering why Sienna hasn’t figured it out. And it also masks Blake’s real reasons for not wanting Sienna to be in such close proximity. That he can’t cope with what his injury has done to his confidence, and his image of himself as a man. Your reader will want to see Blake forced to deal with that, instead of expending a lot of effort keeping up the deception. But I’m sure you’ve already realised that.
The only other thing that jarred a little with me was the ending. Although it was a compelling moment, I'm not sure I would have ended the chapter on that particular hook.. Mostly because it seemed a little surprising to me that after having been so emotionally tough up to that point, Sienna would suddenly break down like that and leave herself so vulnerable to a complete stranger. And after the emotional truth of everything that had gone before, that moment felt oddly manipulative. How else can Blake respond but to give in to her request to stay at the cottage, now? But using what is effectively external conflict (namely Sienna's father's illness) to bring this about makes the finish lose some of the power you have built up in the preceding scene. And as a result it felt like a bit of an anti-climax for me.
That said, it was really only a minor blip, and I would love to read more about these two. Best of luck in the competition! Although I'm not sure you need it.
NB: As an author mentor, the views expressed in the above comment are my own only and don’t reflect those of Romance HQ, nor do they affect the outcome of the competition.
Loved it. I also think this would go straight through to the next round. This is normally not my type of read, but you had me hooked from line one until the end of the chapter. Thanks for sharing this and good luck.
I can't really much more to what everyone else has already said, but well done. You've managed to clearly define both characters right from the start - not an easy job, but you made it seem effortless. I didn't expect to like it, but I couldn't stop reading once I had started.
This isn’t usually the type of story I would read, but it had a very strong hook. It just draws you in right away and keeps your interest with nice clean writing that flows well. I was thrown a bit when she wondered if he was the type of guy who runs on the beach. How did she not notice that he was missing a leg but did notice that he had exhaustion beneath his eyes? I actually went back and reread when they met to make sure I didn’t miss something. It was a bit confusing, but other then that, great entry and would want to read more!
Hi Catherine-I think this is going to be a bit of a tear-jerker! Well done, it's fabulous. Love your characters-I care about them. Can't wait to read Blake's reaction to that last line!! margie s
Hi. I thought this was great. In particular, you did a really good job in describing the attraction between your hero and heroine in a way that didn't feel like a cliché. You also set your story up very well. Good luck. Alex
Another blanket thank you to all of you who have so kindly read my chapter and taken the time to comment/rate. I really appreciate it. So glad Blake is being seen as an alpha hero, I'm a little bit in love with him so I'm glad you all like him too :-]
I agree with so many of your other fans, this is a great story. Love both Blake and Sienna. I'm always the one that questions things though so will ask a couple of questions. Does Sienna know Blake is living there otherwise how would she have know there was food in the refriderator? Or at least been surprised about that? Second if her father is dieing, wouldn't her brother Simon have advised Blake of that and wouldn't he be there as well? I sometimes drive myself crazy with the questions about things that seem to just happen. I know my story had a criticism of a person in shock remembering a phone number so I guess I'm not alone in wondering about the reality of things that happen. Again this is just the first chapter and the questions maybe answered later in the story. So will await the second chapter and see how this story unfolds. Good luck.
You have a winner here! I loved your characters and the baggage they bring to the story. Well written, with the right balance of dialogue and narrative. Though I prefer historical, I'd read this in a heartbeat. Good luck!
Wow, I really like this story. You really do show Blakes desire for solitude so well, and emphasise his insecurities. Sienna come across as a gutzy girl, just the right type for someone like Blake. The compatibility between the two is spot on. Would love to read the rest. Best wishes xx
Well, I just mumbled something very unladylike under my breath, because the chapter was finished. A brilliant read and I so want to read more! Full of conflict and emotion and I love, love, love a truly tortured hero.
Good luck with this, but I reckon you won't need it, cause this is just brill. :-D
Very fluid and readable. Blake retains sufficient force of character to avoid becoming a figure of pity. He’s pissed off and moody but nobody’s victim. Sienna promises to be fun. Very interested to see where this story goes. Good luck!
This isn't the type of story I normally go for, but I'm glad I read it. Really well written with great characters, I think a lot of writers would have made Blake too defensive and so unlikeable at the start - but I think you've hit just the right note with both of them. A great first chapter.
Janet Wright
Wednesday 21 September, 2011, 8:29 AM
Hi Catherine, I don't usually read medicals, but thought I'd give it a go seeing as you'd been kind enough to leave a comment on mine.... I think it's great.....love the tortured hero, and now see what you mean about making his motivation clear in the 1st chapter! I look forward to the next chapter...good luck!
Thank you once more to all of those who have taken the time to read my entry, I really appreciate it. Double thanks to those who have taken the extra step and left a comment--it's so helpful to know readers' thoughts.
This chapter was absolutely delightful, the characters are so easily likeable--even if there is a brute involved, we all know it'll turn around at some point. Very excited to see where the next chapter takes the two. Good luck!
Catherin, there is nothing that pleases me more than being able to read a story that I dont want to correct in any way. This was brilliant, loved it. Good Luck
I read your wonderful entry a while back and had just finished writing my comment when it disappeared on clicking 'preview'. There's a black hole somewhere filled with unmatched socks and bits of my writing - often the best bits, I imagine. I love your story and really can't add to what others have said already. My list of entries I expect to see in the top twenty just gets longer and longer...Can't wait to read more of your fiesty heroine and brooding, chip-on-the-shoulder but yummy hero.
Absolutely LOVED this Catherine! I loved both characters immediately in completely different ways. I think they both need to be healed and I look forward to finding out how they heal each other. I REALLY REALLY hope we get to read chapter two :)
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read and rate/comment on my chapter. I'm very grateful. And to all of those who have loved Blake, I'm so glad because I adore him too :-]
Naomi Fraser
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 11:56 AM
The pace started out wonderfully, but then as he was putting on his leg, it tapered off in a sluggish way. I think there could be minor tightening with paragraphs and sentences, but you have a great hero here, very sympathetic.
My click went straight to the fifth rose for a 100% rating. An effortless read. Loved it from beginning to end and look forward to more. I've read one wounded hero story before and, to my surprise, absolutely adored it (Mary Balogh's Simply Love).
Love it! VERY well done. Packed full of conflict, a spunky heroine ( my favorite), a to-die-for wounded hero ( another fav), and wonderfully written. Congrats on a job well done and wishing you the best of luck!!
Love it! Blake's injuries and emotions come across very clear without making him a sympathy case and I like the interaction between the two characters. You definitely make me want to read more x
Catharine, I really enjoyed this. Your voice and characters are charming, and the writing is skillful. This looks like the perfect start to a romance in the medical category.
Loved it, loved the voice. Great conflict with a smooth flow. Some of the back story could come later but otherwise a riveting read and one I'd pick up in a store and choose to buy :-)
Both characters are sympathetic and it's a great read! I do agree with Tonya that some information might be held back to create a little suspense for the reader about their motivations and past history. But I would like to read more! :)
I liked it. You did an excellent job with Blake's feelings about his injury. I do think the breakfast scene could use a bit of work--there were sections that felt a little too much like info dumps. Otherwise, it's a great chapter. Good luck!
Great stuff. As an army wife, it's nice to see another example of how even an injured soldier is sexy...trust me, it takes a lot of convincing for them to believe they're still as hot as ever!
I'm not usually into these types of stories but Blake is such an endearing hero, and I admire Sienna for standing up to him! Their dialogue seems natural, and I like how you've ended the chapter with a line that you'd naturally want to read on to find Blake's reaction. Of course, he'd have to be the biggest heel in the world to say she couldn't stay there now lol! Good luck with the competition!
I really enjoyed this. And this is coming from someone who is not really into Medical based romances. You really hooked me in, I love Blake. He's looking like he will be a great tortured hero. I want to read more! Sounds like it might be a tear jerker ;-)
Unpredictable and original! I adored this chapter! Though I have to say that I am totally jealous when people (squinty-squints at Catherine and Nancy) make the emotion look EASY. *muttermutter*
Wow! I really loved this. Blake is my favourite kind of hero! Wounded, determined and sexy as hell! I'm already sure that Sienna will manage to get him to open up though :) Really disappointed when the chapter ended and there is no more to read! lol. I really hope you get through. Great hook to end on!
I really like your voice. You are a fantastic writer! I have a very clear sense of the characters, the setting, the conflict -- great work. I'd love to read this book.
Oh no it finished. Bring on chapter 2. Lovely story, strong characters. Good indication of what is to come. Good balance of dialogue and what they are thinking. Great start.
Lovely beginning, I especially enjoyed their inital meeting with Sienna as the 'thief'! I would definitely like to read more, particularly how they get along at the hospital - and how Blake's colleagues react to discovering he and Sienna are living in the same house! Good luck with the competition.
Catherine!! Wow, wow, wow! This is so good. Beautifully written, conflict intense and complex, and enough lightness to balance it. Congratulations too on creating a hero with limb loss. Hope you go through to the next round because I want to read chapter two! :o)
Catherine - you know I'm biased for medicals, but I love this story. Blake the hero is such a tortured soul I absolutely love him. I love the conflict in this story and absolutely want to know what happens in Chapter two!
Hannah Jones
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 7:52 PM
Hi Catherine Your first chapter has me really intrigued. I love the complexity you've introduced to your characters and the subtlety in which you explain their backgrounds. The pacing is spot on and so pleasant to read. Would love to hear more.
Hi Catherine I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked the interaction between them and the beginnings of their conflict. I'm not really a medical fan but I would buy this book.
Lovely Catherine, simply lovely. Blake is a great hero, backstory beautifully woven in. There is a lot to learn about Sienna though and, although I don't usually read medicals, I really want to read on and find out more about her. Also love the way you have taken a serious and sad situation and injected humour as well as heart in - really want to see how sharing a cottage is going to turn out!
Maggie Jones
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 5:12 PM
Oh, I really like this chapter. Blake is utterly gorgeous and Sienna is just lovely. I really want to read the rest of their story and see exactly how they reach their HEA.
Love how you've clearly set up both internal and external conflict straight up. But it doesn't feel laboured or burden the plot. Its all very readable and enjoyable. Will look forward to more!
** NB: As an author mentor, the views expressed in the above comment are my own only and don’t reflect those of Romance HQ, nor do they affect the outcome of the competition. **
Gorgeous hero. Fabulous heroine. Delicious writing, as always! Congrats on a gorgeous beginning. Looking forward to reading more of Blake and Sienna's story.
Karen Belton
Wednesday 12 October, 2011, 11:58 AM
5 roses from me. You have put such a lot of effort into shaping your characters and making it flow. It is effortless to read and stands out from many other entries, for me at least. Pace is good and your voice comes through.
Sienna is very appealing and a great contrast to Blake.
And as for Blake...*sighs*...,enough said, he's gorgeous.
I hope you are through (despite the Rose-bombers efforts!).
#102 | Report this comment
Tina Vaughn
Wednesday 12 October, 2011, 3:55 AM
Love, love, love!
One of my favorites.
Great job, Catherine! : )
#101 | Report this comment
Katie Deveroe
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 10:45 PM
I'm with you Jennifer! The rosebombers are certainly out in full swing this year.
Anyway, on to your chap, Catherine.
I loved it. Blake is deliciously wounded and I desperately want Sienna to heal him! The only hitch (and it's teeny) was the close. It fell a little flat for me.
All said, you are a very talented writer and I think you are the perfect fit for Medicals - which I love. I would certainly buy the book.
Best of luck!
#100 | Report this comment
Jennifer Daugherty
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 5:08 PM
Sorry Catherine-must have misread it. I think you will sell soon. Your writing is very compelling. I would buy this book!
#99 | Report this comment
Catherine Coles
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 4:25 PM
Thank you so much to each and every person who has taken the time to read my chapter and leave such helpful comments, I appreciate you all :-}
I wish I had sold a medical, Jennifer, I've had a full requested but no sale--you must have misunderstood my blog :-}
#98 | Report this comment
Jennifer Daugherty
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 3:51 PM
This entry just confirms to me that I should ignore the roses. At this time, yours is only rated a 57% and that is crazy! This is one of the best I have read so far. There were a few holes in the story that I think other people have pointed out. (Why she didn't notice his leg was missing, why Simon hadn't told him about his dad dying, how she seemed to know he was there...)
Those are just small things easily fixed.
The important things such as voice and pacing are right on target. You quickly draw the reader in and captivate them with this compelling story. I also like your descriptions. I'm not surprised that you have already sold a medical (as you said on your blog). You definitely have a talent for this type of writing.
#97 | Report this comment
Melissa Taukiri
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 12:18 PM
Thoroughly enjoyed your chapter Catherine! Very well written, and it really makes me want to read more. I like the stubborn streak in both of them. You've created two fascinating and likeable characters, not to mention HOT characters. Best of luck! ;-)
#96 | Report this comment
Miranda Liasson
Tuesday 11 October, 2011, 9:14 AM
Blake is a hero to die for! And Sienna has just what it takes to make him whole again. Congratulations, Catherine, on creating a wonderful story that really tugs at the heartstings!
#95 | Report this comment
lizzie martin
Monday 10 October, 2011, 10:42 PM
A great first chapter. Lovely writing and you build the tension very well. Blake is a fabulous hero. Well done and good luck!
#94 | Report this comment
Jennifer Drogell
Monday 10 October, 2011, 3:42 AM
Catherine really enjoyed this! You write really, really well. I did think by having your heroine suddenly confess that about her ill father at the end of the chapter you are lessening the great tension you had been building between them. That could be revealed later. But I did like this a lot. Great job and good luck! Jen
#93 | Report this comment
Julia Broadbooks
Sunday 09 October, 2011, 11:29 PM
Just as good as everyone promised. My heart is breaking for them both! Bravo.
#92 | Report this comment
Michelle Montford
Sunday 09 October, 2011, 9:52 PM
This is gripping and beautifully written. Nicely paced
#91 | Report this comment
Hannah Jones
Sunday 09 October, 2011, 9:42 PM
Hi Catherine - this was the first entry I read a couple of weeks ago and since then I've read A LOT yet this is still by far the one that sticks in my mind the most - I'm with Caroline on this one. Catherine Coles for top twenty (would be nice if I could join you there hehe!)
#90 | Report this comment
Caroline Hartin
Sunday 09 October, 2011, 2:29 PM
Yikes! I read this *ages* ago and thought I'd left a comment - but I hadn't - sorry! So better late than never - this is a Stella entry - I loved it. Well done Catherine - and I'll eat my hat if your story doesn't go through to the 2nd round. Caroline x
#89 | Report this comment
Sabine Muir
Saturday 08 October, 2011, 9:37 PM
Absorbing first chapter, Catherine. I look forward to reading the rest of the story.
Good luck with your entry.
#88 | Report this comment
Amber Autry
Saturday 08 October, 2011, 8:15 PM
Catherine,
Thanks for your comment. I love when people help me grow as a writer. I commented back if you want to have a peek and tell me what you think of my revision ideas. Anyway, back to your story. I liked it a lot. It's great. Well written. I love the tension coming from Blake. They already seem like they were made for each other. I can't wait to read more. The only thing I noticed was a few words missing and once you had a couple words that needed to be swapped. Other than that great job.
#87 | Report this comment
Amaryllis Bloome
Saturday 08 October, 2011, 4:54 PM
Great first chapter Catherine. I can see this will be an emotional, heart wrenching story. Really looking forward to Chapter two!
#86 | Report this comment
Samantha Meadows
Saturday 08 October, 2011, 1:18 PM
Hi Catherine, I thoroughly enjoyed your chapter - it was one of the first I read before I registered. The damaged hero who can only be healed by the heroine is always appealing (It's a theme in my story too...!) I liked your characters and I'm keen to find out how their story unfolds - so good luck with chapter 2
#85 | Report this comment
Heidi Rice
Friday 07 October, 2011, 7:15 PM
Hi Catherine
Well, you don't really need me to reiterate what others have already said, but this is a really powerful entry. Sweet, tender, compelling with two exceptionally engaging and relatable characters. Your voice is very evocative and your style equally so. I loved the fact that your hero is so traumatised by his injury that he has tried to keep it a secret – which said to me that he had in no way come to terms with the lose of his leg - his conflict felt very real and also heartbreaking without being maudlin. Similarly with your heroine we had a strong sense of a woman who's outward toughness hides a tender soul struggling to cope with her father's illness.
If I had any tips for this entry (and to be honest it was hard to find anything to criticise) I would say maybe you could cut a little of the backstory early on in the chapter. You really don’t need the information in Blake’s internal thought about renting the cottage from Simon for example, because he goes on to explain it when speaking to Sienna.
I was also a little confused that Sienna hadn’t noticed he had lost part of his lower leg as I got the impression he hadn’t put the prosthetic on. I think maybe you need to clarify that or it has the potential to confuse your readers and pull them out of the story.
One thought I did have for the story going forward: I would be a bit wary of allowing Blake to keep his disability secret from Sienna for too long, because that has the potential to frustrate your readers wondering why Sienna hasn’t figured it out. And it also masks Blake’s real reasons for not wanting Sienna to be in such close proximity. That he can’t cope with what his injury has done to his confidence, and his image of himself as a man. Your reader will want to see Blake forced to deal with that, instead of expending a lot of effort keeping up the deception. But I’m sure you’ve already realised that.
The only other thing that jarred a little with me was the ending. Although it was a compelling moment, I'm not sure I would have ended the chapter on that particular hook.. Mostly because it seemed a little surprising to me that after having been so emotionally tough up to that point, Sienna would suddenly break down like that and leave herself so vulnerable to a complete stranger. And after the emotional truth of everything that had gone before, that moment felt oddly manipulative. How else can Blake respond but to give in to her request to stay at the cottage, now? But using what is effectively external conflict (namely Sienna's father's illness) to bring this about makes the finish lose some of the power you have built up in the preceding scene. And as a result it felt like a bit of an anti-climax for me.
That said, it was really only a minor blip, and I would love to read more about these two. Best of luck in the competition! Although I'm not sure you need it.
NB: As an author mentor, the views expressed in the above comment are my own only and don’t reflect those of Romance HQ, nor do they affect the outcome of the competition.
#84 | Report this comment
Jennifer Faye
Thursday 06 October, 2011, 8:54 PM
Great opening scene. Definitely a sexy hero. I'm looking forward to reading more. Good luck.
#83 | Report this comment
Yolande Pienaar
Wednesday 05 October, 2011, 7:20 PM
Loved it. I also think this would go straight through to the next round. This is normally not my type of read, but you had me hooked from line one until the end of the chapter. Thanks for sharing this and good luck.
#82 | Report this comment
Erica Scott
Tuesday 04 October, 2011, 9:53 PM
I can't really much more to what everyone else has already said, but well done. You've managed to clearly define both characters right from the start - not an easy job, but you made it seem effortless. I didn't expect to like it, but I couldn't stop reading once I had started.
Straight through to the next round, I think!
#81 | Report this comment
Libby Mercer
Sunday 02 October, 2011, 3:44 AM
Just fantastic. Really, so good. I love this chapter and can't wait to read on. :-)
#80 | Report this comment
Amy Swetkovich
Friday 30 September, 2011, 12:38 AM
This isn’t usually the type of story I would read, but it had a very strong hook. It just draws you in right away and keeps your interest with nice clean writing that flows well. I was thrown a bit when she wondered if he was the type of guy who runs on the beach. How did she not notice that he was missing a leg but did notice that he had exhaustion beneath his eyes? I actually went back and reread when they met to make sure I didn’t miss something. It was a bit confusing, but other then that, great entry and would want to read more!
#79 | Report this comment
A Murphy
Wednesday 28 September, 2011, 2:40 PM
I enjoyed this, a great meet and lovely setting. The hook at the end would encourage me to turn the page. Best of luck with your entry.
#78 | Report this comment
Margie Stewart
Wednesday 28 September, 2011, 6:43 AM
Hi Catherine-I think this is going to be a bit of a tear-jerker! Well done, it's fabulous. Love your characters-I care about them. Can't wait to read Blake's reaction to that last line!!
margie s
#77 | Report this comment
P Tallboys
Tuesday 27 September, 2011, 10:46 PM
I agree with all your other fans that have copmmented. Hope to read chapter 2 :)
#76 | Report this comment
Alex Segal
Tuesday 27 September, 2011, 6:10 PM
Hi. I thought this was great. In particular, you did a really good job in describing the attraction between your hero and heroine in a way that didn't feel like a cliché. You also set your story up very well. Good luck. Alex
#75 | Report this comment
Catherine Coles
Tuesday 27 September, 2011, 9:42 AM
Another blanket thank you to all of you who have so kindly read my chapter and taken the time to comment/rate. I really appreciate it. So glad Blake is being seen as an alpha hero, I'm a little bit in love with him so I'm glad you all like him too :-]
#74 | Report this comment
Kathryn Daugherty
Saturday 24 September, 2011, 4:20 PM
I agree with so many of your other fans, this is a great story. Love both Blake and Sienna. I'm always the one that questions things though so will ask a couple of questions. Does Sienna know Blake is living there otherwise how would she have know there was food in the refriderator? Or at least been surprised about that? Second if her father is dieing, wouldn't her brother Simon have advised Blake of that and wouldn't he be there as well? I sometimes drive myself crazy with the questions about things that seem to just happen. I know my story had a criticism of a person in shock remembering a phone number so I guess I'm not alone in wondering about the reality of things that happen. Again this is just the first chapter and the questions maybe answered later in the story. So will await the second chapter and see how this story unfolds. Good luck.
#73 | Report this comment
Michele Mahon
Saturday 24 September, 2011, 1:58 AM
You have a winner here! I loved your characters and the baggage they bring to the story. Well written, with the right balance of dialogue and narrative. Though I prefer historical, I'd read this in a heartbeat. Good luck!
#72 | Report this comment
Paula Moore
Friday 23 September, 2011, 11:36 PM
Excellent - pathos just right - main characters well drawn - really enjoyed 1st Chapter - looking forward to next.
Well done.
#71 | Report this comment
Stephanie Lucas
Friday 23 September, 2011, 8:59 PM
Wow, I really like this story. You really do show Blakes desire for solitude so well, and emphasise his insecurities. Sienna come across as a gutzy girl, just the right type for someone like Blake. The compatibility between the two is spot on. Would love to read the rest. Best wishes xx
#70 | Report this comment
Doris O'Connor
Friday 23 September, 2011, 7:58 PM
Well, I just mumbled something very unladylike under my breath, because the chapter was finished. A brilliant read and I so want to read more! Full of conflict and emotion and I love, love, love a truly tortured hero.
Good luck with this, but I reckon you won't need it, cause this is just brill. :-D
#69 | Report this comment
Jackie Coates
Friday 23 September, 2011, 4:29 AM
Loved this chapter! Especially the tortured hero. Sigh....*fans self* Great conflict that's shaping up nicely.
#68 | Report this comment
Incy Black
Thursday 22 September, 2011, 6:02 PM
Very fluid and readable. Blake retains sufficient force of character to avoid becoming a figure of pity. He’s pissed off and moody but nobody’s victim. Sienna promises to be fun. Very interested to see where this story goes. Good luck!
#67 | Report this comment
Susie Medwell
Wednesday 21 September, 2011, 10:27 PM
This isn't the type of story I normally go for, but I'm glad I read it. Really well written with great characters, I think a lot of writers would have made Blake too defensive and so unlikeable at the start - but I think you've hit just the right note with both of them. A great first chapter.
#66 | Report this comment
Janet Wright
Wednesday 21 September, 2011, 8:29 AM
Hi Catherine,
I don't usually read medicals, but thought I'd give it a go seeing as you'd been kind enough to leave a comment on mine....
I think it's great.....love the tortured hero, and now see what you mean about making his motivation clear in the 1st chapter!
I look forward to the next chapter...good luck!
#65 | Report this comment
Catherine Coles
Wednesday 21 September, 2011, 7:38 AM
Thank you once more to all of those who have taken the time to read my entry, I really appreciate it. Double thanks to those who have taken the extra step and left a comment--it's so helpful to know readers' thoughts.
#64 | Report this comment
Amanda Bradley
Wednesday 21 September, 2011, 1:40 AM
Very easy to read. I like that he is wounded but doesn't appear weak. That can be tricky and you handle it well. Nice work!
#63 | Report this comment
Marie Jermy
Tuesday 20 September, 2011, 3:56 PM
I'm going to be totally honest but this entry struck me as similar to a Blaze book I read about a year ago.
#62 | Report this comment
Morgan Miller
Monday 19 September, 2011, 10:18 PM
This chapter was absolutely delightful, the characters are so easily likeable--even if there is a brute involved, we all know it'll turn around at some point. Very excited to see where the next chapter takes the two. Good luck!
#61 | Report this comment
Ann Harrison
Monday 19 September, 2011, 11:35 AM
Catherin, there is nothing that pleases me more than being able to read a story that I dont want to correct in any way. This was brilliant, loved it. Good Luck
#60 | Report this comment
Flora Van Kleef
Monday 19 September, 2011, 7:28 AM
I read your wonderful entry a while back and had just finished writing my comment when it disappeared on clicking 'preview'. There's a black hole somewhere filled with unmatched socks and bits of my writing - often the best bits, I imagine. I love your story and really can't add to what others have said already. My list of entries I expect to see in the top twenty just gets longer and longer...Can't wait to read more of your fiesty heroine and brooding, chip-on-the-shoulder but yummy hero.
#59 | Report this comment
Abbi Cantrell
Monday 19 September, 2011, 3:25 AM
I adored this chapter. And, more importantly, I learned something from it. Great job!
Abbi :-)
#58 | Report this comment
Siobhan Whyment
Sunday 18 September, 2011, 10:22 PM
I really enjoyed this. Blake is marvelous.
#57 | Report this comment
Leia Sewell
Sunday 18 September, 2011, 12:24 PM
You deserve to be top, well done :D
#56 | Report this comment
sue reid
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 9:44 PM
Thoroughly enjoyable. Well done
#55 | Report this comment
Hillary Brotherton
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 9:16 PM
Great job! Love Blake and Sienna, can't wait to read more.
#54 | Report this comment
Rachael Johns
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 2:57 PM
Absolutely LOVED this Catherine! I loved both characters immediately in completely different ways. I think they both need to be healed and I look forward to finding out how they heal each other. I REALLY REALLY hope we get to read chapter two :)
#53 | Report this comment
Catherine Coles
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 1:11 PM
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read and rate/comment on my chapter. I'm very grateful. And to all of those who have loved Blake, I'm so glad because I adore him too :-]
#52 | Report this comment
Naomi Fraser
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 11:56 AM
The pace started out wonderfully, but then as he was putting on his leg, it tapered off in a sluggish way. I think there could be minor tightening with paragraphs and sentences, but you have a great hero here, very sympathetic.
Good luck in the competition.
#51 | Report this comment
Lacey Devlin
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 10:11 AM
Congrats on a fantastic chapter, Catherine. I'm a sucker for a wounded hero and I adore Blake. Can't wait to read chapter 2!
#50 | Report this comment
Veronica Parin
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 9:42 AM
My click went straight to the fifth rose for a 100% rating. An effortless read. Loved it from beginning to end and look forward to more. I've read one wounded hero story before and, to my surprise, absolutely adored it (Mary Balogh's Simply Love).
#49 | Report this comment
Kamy Chetty
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 3:07 AM
I loved it. It had conflict, great voice- everything I'd look for- well done. Can I have chapter 2 now plse? :-))
#48 | Report this comment
Aimee Carson
Saturday 17 September, 2011, 2:45 AM
Love it! VERY well done. Packed full of conflict, a spunky heroine ( my favorite), a to-die-for wounded hero ( another fav), and wonderfully written. Congrats on a job well done and wishing you the best of luck!!
#47 | Report this comment
MF Gillan
Friday 16 September, 2011, 9:17 PM
I loved it! It flowed really well and I was falling for your hero - I love moody heros! I can't wait for chapter 2 !!! xx
#46 | Report this comment
Annie Edwin
Friday 16 September, 2011, 5:34 PM
Wowzer! This is just full of conflict. The characters just seem to have a life of their own and I'm so intrigued as to how this will progress!
#45 | Report this comment
Melissa Lockhart
Friday 16 September, 2011, 4:49 PM
Blake reminds me my friend Jye (army medic), minus the injuries.
Great story line!! :)
#44 | Report this comment
karina buchanan
Friday 16 September, 2011, 2:50 PM
Love it! Blake's injuries and emotions come across very clear without making him a sympathy case and I like the interaction between the two characters. You definitely make me want to read more x
#43 | Report this comment
Natalie Charles
Friday 16 September, 2011, 2:29 PM
Catherine, this is lovely. You created sympathetic and memorable characters, and your style is very engaging. Best of luck!
#42 | Report this comment
Christy McKellen
Friday 16 September, 2011, 2:02 PM
This is a great start to your story Catherine. I really like both of your characters and would love to find out more about them.
You have a wonderfully warm and engaging voice and a good handle on the internal conflict.
Good work!
Really good luck in the competition
Christy
#41 | Report this comment
* **
Friday 16 September, 2011, 1:30 PM
Catharine, I really enjoyed this. Your voice and characters are charming, and the writing is skillful. This looks like the perfect start to a romance in the medical category.
#40 | Report this comment
Tyree Connor
Friday 16 September, 2011, 8:33 AM
Loved it, loved the voice. Great conflict with a smooth flow. Some of the back story could come later but otherwise a riveting read and one I'd pick up in a store and choose to buy :-)
#39 | Report this comment
Nina Darling
Friday 16 September, 2011, 6:35 AM
Really enjoyed this. It held my attention right to the end. Very well written. Look forward to reading more.
#38 | Report this comment
Helen Kolacevic
Friday 16 September, 2011, 5:53 AM
Both characters are sympathetic and it's a great read! I do agree with Tonya that some information might be held back to create a little suspense for the reader about their motivations and past history. But I would like to read more! :)
#37 | Report this comment
Tonya Burrows
Friday 16 September, 2011, 2:05 AM
I liked it. You did an excellent job with Blake's feelings about his injury. I do think the breakfast scene could use a bit of work--there were sections that felt a little too much like info dumps. Otherwise, it's a great chapter. Good luck!
#36 | Report this comment
wanda humphries
Friday 16 September, 2011, 12:52 AM
I want more
#35 | Report this comment
Niamh Moriarty-Smyth
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 10:35 PM
Hi Catherine - a lovely read. I empathised with both characters immediately. They're already well developed and I'd love to read more!
#34 | Report this comment
Lark Delaney
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 10:23 PM
Great stuff. As an army wife, it's nice to see another example of how even an injured soldier is sexy...trust me, it takes a lot of convincing for them to believe they're still as hot as ever!
#33 | Report this comment
Alexa Bourne
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 10:03 PM
This is awesome!
#32 | Report this comment
Lisa Reynolds
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 9:51 PM
Really great first chapter. Well done!
#31 | Report this comment
Jennifer Anne
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 9:50 PM
very good first chapter. your writing has a really good flow. good luck with the competition!
#30 | Report this comment
Jo Fereday
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 9:24 PM
Wow, you make writing look so effortless! Really wonderful first chapter. Full marks from me.
#29 | Report this comment
Suzannah Williams
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 8:44 PM
Fabulous chapter! Blake is a great hero, and it all worked beautifully.
#28 | Report this comment
Sophie Morgan
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 8:29 PM
I'm not usually into these types of stories but Blake is such an endearing hero, and I admire Sienna for standing up to him! Their dialogue seems natural, and I like how you've ended the chapter with a line that you'd naturally want to read on to find Blake's reaction. Of course, he'd have to be the biggest heel in the world to say she couldn't stay there now lol! Good luck with the competition!
#27 | Report this comment
Joanna Shupe
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 5:27 PM
I liked this a lot. It's not the type of story I'd normally read, but you hooked me in. Love both the set up and the H/H. Well done!
#26 | Report this comment
Rebecca Thornton
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 12:58 PM
I really enjoyed this. And this is coming from someone who is not really into Medical based romances.
You really hooked me in, I love Blake. He's looking like he will be a great tortured hero.
I want to read more! Sounds like it might be a tear jerker ;-)
Good luck
Xx
#25 | Report this comment
Tina Beckett
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 12:33 PM
Great job, Catherine! Lot's of deep emotion in your entry!
#24 | Report this comment
W. L. Curtis
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 11:20 AM
Yeah, what they said, lol.
Well done
Wendy
#23 | Report this comment
Amalie Berlin
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 11:15 AM
Unpredictable and original! I adored this chapter! Though I have to say that I am totally jealous when people (squinty-squints at Catherine and Nancy) make the emotion look EASY. *muttermutter*
#22 | Report this comment
Aimee Duffy
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 10:16 AM
Wow!
I really loved this. Blake is my favourite kind of hero! Wounded, determined and sexy as hell! I'm already sure that Sienna will manage to get him to open up though :)
Really disappointed when the chapter ended and there is no more to read! lol. I really hope you get through.
Great hook to end on!
#21 | Report this comment
Kay Wood
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 8:31 AM
I really enjoyed this. Great chemistry between the characters. Can't wait to read more!
#20 | Report this comment
Joanne Pibworth
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 8:24 AM
Top Job Catherine! Blake really tugged at my heartstrings, and Sienna is a pocket rocket! Really sparkly, made me want to read more. Good Luck!
#19 | Report this comment
Wendi Strickland
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 4:03 AM
I really like your voice. You are a fantastic writer! I have a very clear sense of the characters, the setting, the conflict -- great work. I'd love to read this book.
#18 | Report this comment
Christine Keach
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 3:19 AM
Great entry, Catherine! Good luck in the competition!
#17 | Report this comment
Sri Pammi
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 1:03 AM
Loved both Blake and Sienna, Catherine. Blake so deserves a HEA.
#16 | Report this comment
Michelle Ford
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 12:36 AM
Oh no it finished. Bring on chapter 2. Lovely story, strong characters. Good indication of what is to come. Good balance of dialogue and what they are thinking. Great start.
#15 | Report this comment
Evelyn Fey
Thursday 15 September, 2011, 12:01 AM
Lovely beginning, I especially enjoyed their inital meeting with Sienna as the 'thief'! I would definitely like to read more, particularly how they get along at the hospital - and how Blake's colleagues react to discovering he and Sienna are living in the same house! Good luck with the competition.
#14 | Report this comment
Michelle Smart
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 10:24 PM
How could anyone not fall in love with this chapter? Lovely.
#13 | Report this comment
Alexandra Fiennes
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 9:13 PM
Catherine!! Wow, wow, wow! This is so good. Beautifully written, conflict intense and complex, and enough lightness to balance it. Congratulations too on creating a hero with limb loss. Hope you go through to the next round because I want to read chapter two! :o)
#12 | Report this comment
Maya Blake
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 9:12 PM
Loved your chapter, Catherine! Feisty heroine, wounded hero. I'd love to see them get their Happy Ever After. Fabulous chapter. Well done :)
#11 | Report this comment
Scarlet Wilson
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 8:42 PM
Catherine - you know I'm biased for medicals, but I love this story. Blake the hero is such a tortured soul I absolutely love him. I love the conflict in this story and absolutely want to know what happens in Chapter two!
#10 | Report this comment
Hannah Jones
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 7:52 PM
Hi Catherine
Your first chapter has me really intrigued. I love the complexity you've introduced to your characters and the subtlety in which you explain their backgrounds. The pacing is spot on and so pleasant to read. Would love to hear more.
#9 | Report this comment
Karen Bellamy
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 7:16 PM
Hi Catherine
I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked the interaction between them and the beginnings of their conflict. I'm not really a medical fan but I would buy this book.
#8 | Report this comment
Maisey Yates
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 7:07 PM
I adored it, Catherine. I love a wounded hero, and Blake really got me. Very well done.
#7 | Report this comment
Rosy Gilmore
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 6:55 PM
Lovely Catherine, simply lovely. Blake is a great hero, backstory beautifully woven in. There is a lot to learn about Sienna though and, although I don't usually read medicals, I really want to read on and find out more about her. Also love the way you have taken a serious and sad situation and injected humour as well as heart in - really want to see how sharing a cottage is going to turn out!
#6 | Report this comment
Lorraine Wilson
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 6:18 PM
Love, love, love Blake. Fab chapter :-)
#5 | Report this comment
Maggie Jones
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 5:12 PM
Oh, I really like this chapter. Blake is utterly gorgeous and Sienna is just lovely. I really want to read the rest of their story and see exactly how they reach their HEA.
Very well done.
#4 | Report this comment
Nikki Logan
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 5:04 PM
Love how you've clearly set up both internal and external conflict straight up. But it doesn't feel laboured or burden the plot. Its all very readable and enjoyable. Will look forward to more!
** NB: As an author mentor, the views expressed in the above comment are my own only and don’t reflect those of Romance HQ, nor do they affect the outcome of the competition. **
#3 | Report this comment
Trenda Plunkett
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 4:42 PM
Gorgeous hero. Fabulous heroine. Delicious writing, as always! Congrats on a gorgeous beginning. Looking forward to reading more of Blake and Sienna's story.
#2 | Report this comment
Romy Sommer
Wednesday 14 September, 2011, 4:28 PM
I think I might be in love! Blake is a wonderfully tortured hero, and I can't wait to read more of his story.
#1 | Report this comment