Secrets and Seduction - Pivotal Moment

“I can’t do this anymore!” Holly shouted, as she pulled off her cloak.
“Lucky for you it won’t be much longer,” Ramsay retorted. He would leave and Holly would return to her life. He tried to dull the stab of pain that tore at him.
“You’ll like that won’t you? Much easier to be a spy and a traitor when you aren’t weighed down by a fake wife.”
“Quite right. I’ll relish the day I am rid of you.”
“Liar!” she screamed. The balls of her hands curled into tight fist. “I see the way you look at me.”
“Love, I leer at most women.”
“And every night when you think I am asleep, I feel your hand reach for mine. Are you going to deny that?”
“Holly don’t. This will always be just a job.” The deceit tasted bitter in his mouth.
“Stop lying!” she insisted.
“Go to bed.”
“No. You owe me this. Why were you happy to make love to Vivienne? You can’t even say her name without cringing, but we have shared a bed every night for over a month and you have never touched me. Why?”
Make love. The words stung like a slap in the face. He had never made love to anyone in his life. He had had plenty of sex but he would not even know where to start with lovemaking. “Because I don’t want you.”
“No more lies.” Her voice faltered.
Shame spread through him, stretching to parts of his conscious which had lain dormant far too long. “Holly-”
“Stop talking!”
Her hands reached for him, finding his manhood with a hesitant touch. Instantly his body reacted, every nerve awakened, each beat of his heart pumping blood with a thunderous force. Never before had he reacted to a woman with such primitive need. At best, sex had been a pleasant diversion, but with Holly even the most temperate touch was charged with an erotic tension that threatened to undo him.
“You can lie to me but your body can’t,” she whispered.
“Holly I will only hurt you,” Ramsay said, using the last shred of his willpower to push her away. He could never give her the future she wanted.
“You’re not protecting me, you’re protecting yourself. I know you’re a liar and a traitor and worse. But I still want you. Yet you can’t even admit that you want me too. You’re a coward.”
Again her hands were on him, warm soft inviting hands, discovering him, each gentle stroke coming closer to unmasking him. When she touched him, she was not touching Ramsay, the character he had created, each caress was for him, the real him. It could only ever be that man that kissed her, tasted her.
And that terrified him.
Every little thing she discovered about him stripped away his armour, chipped away at the facade of Jonathan Ramsay, and led her closer to the real him. She would reject the man that lay beneath and he could not bear that. When everything was said and done it had to be Ramsay she hated.
Holly leaned forward until her lips brushed his. He could not think straight. He had wanted her so badly for too long. It was torture to have her so near and not be able to touch her. And now she was offering him the release his body craved. His mouth opened and his tongue glided between her lips. Her mouth was so sweet. He had to stop before all self control was lost. He ran a hand through his hair and swore loudly.
“Ramsay! For the love of God just be honest,” she persisted.
“Holly there is no future for us. It could only ever be sex,” he said, as much a warning for him as for her. “Is that what you want?”
“I will take whatever you give me.”
The last of his resolve was ripped away, replaced by a crushing desire to bury himself deep inside her and feel her body moulded around his. He wanted to lick her and taste her until it did not matter who they were or what might happen. Any consequence would be worth it to have her. As soon as he touched her, his mask would be gone. He would not be able to hide behind Ramsay any longer and pretend it was duty or anything else that drove him. With Holly it was always desire.
His chest constricted. He needed her.
He had never needed anyone but tonight he needed her.
He lit the candle beside the bed.
“What are you doing?” Holly asked.
“I want to see you when I make love to you,” he said. His open mouth came down hot on her. He kissed and licked and sucked as his hands discovered her, claimed her. For tonight she was his.