A New Mom For Abbie - Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

“T-u-t-o-r” Molly spelled the word as she typed it, more to break the silence in her apartment than for anything else. A few opportunities popped up including one in the area for a nanny/tutor. She clicked on it and was redirected to the website of an Au Pair agency in downtown Seattle. They insisted that they hired only the best, most qualified caregivers and rigorously screened both the family and the prospective nanny to find the best fit.

Molly scanned through the ads for nannies needed until she found the one requesting a tutor as well and read:
Nanny needed for five year old girl. Full time, live in position. Must have educated background as the child needs tutoring to be ready for school in the fall. Days off will vary as parent travels. Can provide car for use or bring your own but must be safe and reliable.

“So there’s only one parent, probably Mom.” Molly said quietly as she filled out the online application for the job. It would mean moving and giving up her apartment but if she didn’t get work soon she’d be out on the streets anyway. Her savings would only last so long. Being a nanny wasn’t exactly what she’d gone to school for but the tutoring part might be fun. Young kids were always fun to work with.

Molly clicked the submit button and crossed her fingers in hope just as the phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID and grimaced when she saw it was her mother calling. She and her mom had never been close, even when Molly was little she remembered understanding that things were different with her and her mom than what she saw between her friends and their moms. She considered not answering, seriously considered it but she knew that if she didn’t answer now, the phone would continue to ring until she did.

“Hello.” Molly tried to inject some warmth into her voice but it was so hard.

“Molly, it’s your mother.”

“I know.” Molly rolled her eyes at her mother’s supercilious tone.

“Then at least pretend that you’re happy to hear from me.” Harmony demanded. Her voice was nothing like it used to be. Molly had vague memories of hearing her mother sing when she was little. Her voice had been lovely but Harmony sang only to Bennett.

“You know Bennett would have been 24 today.”

And thus the reason for the call.

Molly knew her mother wouldn’t have called just to talk to her, to find out how she was doing, to see if all was well in her daughter’s world. No, that wouldn’t do. It had always been and would always be about Bennett, the golden boy, the favorite. Molly tried not to be bitter.

“Yes, Mom, I know.” She grabbed her coffee mug, now cold, off the desk and took it to the kitchen where she dumped it down the sink and put the mug in the dishwasher.

“It shouldn’t have been him, Mol, it shouldn’t have been him.” Harmony whined. “He was my only son. He was my baby.”

“And who should it have been, Mom?” Molly already knew the answer to that because her mother had come right out and said it once, that it should have been Molly that died in that car crash, not Bennett. They had this conversation every year on this day and if Molly hadn’t been so stressed about losing her job, she would have realized what today was. She would have made sure she’d been anywhere but home when her mother decided to call.

“Well…anybody but Bennett, it’s just not fair.” Harmony’s voice got even more grating when she cried but as annoying as it was, Molly wished with all her heart that she could find some sympathy for her mother, some good feelings for the woman who bore her. But all she felt was annoyance and irritation.

“Mom, bad things happen to good people everyday. It’s hard, it’s sad, but he’s been gone for 8 years.” Molly lowered her voice before adding, “It’s time to let go.”

“Of course you’d say that!” Harmony shrieked. “You were always jealous of your brother, always begrudged him the attention I gave him! The only reason you can let him go so easily is because you’re glad he’s gone!” At that point there was a loud click and a moment later the dial tone buzzed in Molly’s ear. She sighed and pulled the phone cord out of the wall, knowing full well her mother would call back because she wouldn’t be able to let the conversation end there.

It wasn’t bad enough that Bennett had been the favorite child in life but Molly hated that she had to compete with him in death too. She’d come to accept years ago that she’d never been good enough for her mother because she was a girl and her mother didn’t want a daughter, she wanted a son.

The sound of a phone ringing, muted through the bedroom door, reached Molly’s ears but she ignored it and instead grabbed her keys and her coat and left the apartment.

The snow, just last week, had been crisp and white, making the neighborhood look clean and fresh. Today, though, it lay in brown mushy heaps against buildings and curbs, making the world look bleak and forgotten as if someone had tried to wash and gave up, leaving piles of dirty suds behind.

The air didn’t really feel all that cold until the wind started blowing then it seemed to slice through her clothes and straight to her bones. The sky was surprisingly blue for this time of year in Seattle so it was hard not to enjoy it, in spite of the cold.

Molly stepped over a slushy pile of brown snow on the sidewalk and pushed her hands deeper into her pockets. The wind cut through her jacket and made her wish she’d put on her heavier wool coat. She rounded the corner of her building and let her thoughts turn back to her mother. She wanted more than anything to be able to let go of the hurt that her parents’ rejection caused but for some reason she continued to seek her mother’s approval even knowing it would never come.

~~~

“I WANT IT NOW!” Abbie shrieked with ear splitting force and while Alex knew what he should do, he handed her the gift he brought her from Japan and watched as she tore open the package and frowned at the delicate porcelain doll inside.

“What does it do?” Abbie demanded, flipping the fragile doll around in her hands, looking at it from all angles as though it was nothing more than a block of wood.

“It doesn’t do anything. You set it on the shelf in your room and look at it. It’s pretty.” Alex explained, trying to take it from her before she broke it.

“Look at it? That’s not fun!” Abbie yelled and tossed the doll onto the hardwood floor, effectively shattering it into a million tiny pieces. She looked stricken for a brief moment but the look quickly morphed into one of anger.

“Look what you made me do!” Abbie turned and ran up the stairs to her room while Alex counted to ten to keep himself from exploding. When he reached seven, Abbie’s bedroom door slammed and rattled the pictures on the wall, causing Alex to start back at one.

Abbie was only five but her behavior was more like that of a rebellious teenager. She was demanding and temper mental; some had gone as far as to call her spoiled. But she wasn’t spoiled, really, just spirited, a little high strung maybe, but definitely not spoiled. Images of rotten food came to mind when he thought of the word ‘spoiled’ and his daughter was certainly not that.

Shrieks from above stairs brought his attention back to the problem at hand and he busied himself with cleaning up the smashed doll while making a mental note not to buy her anything that was breakable on his trips abroad.

After cleaning up the mess, Alex went up to Abbie’s room and tapped on the door. When there was no answer from inside he tried the knob and found it locked. He knocked louder. Still nothing.

“Abigail Leilani Clarke, open this door.” Alex knocked again, his irritation growing. Something had to be done about his daughter’s behavior but he simply didn’t have the heart to do it. It was partly his fault she didn’t have a mother and he assumed that not having a mother around was the reason she behaved the way she did. If only he’d been more willing to compromise with Kiara then maybe she would have stayed.

The phone rang and he sighed with relief at the reprieve he’d just been given. Dealing with anything else was far easier than dealing with Abbie.

“Hello?” Alex sank into his desk chair as he answered the phone. His daughter was really starting to get to him.

“Mr. Clarke, this is Tanya from the Au Pair agency. We’ve found a potential candidate for you and would like to email you her information if that’s okay.”

“Of course. I’ll look it over and call you back.” Alex was thrilled at the prospect of finally having someone to look after Abbie full time. A brief moment after hanging up the phone his computer announced that he had new email. He opened the document and leaned back in his chair as he read over the stats on the screen.

Educated at the University of Washington, teaching certificate, graduated top of her class, taught first grade at a King County elementary school for six years, not married, no children, unattached. She sounded perfect but why would someone with those credentials be willing to settle for a nanny position? What was wrong with her?

Alex picked up the phone and dialed the agency. Tanya picked up on the second ring, her voice friendly and professional.

“Tanya, can you tell me why this woman isn’t still teaching?” Alex asked, scrolling from one page of the resume to the other and back again, looking for anything he might have missed.

“She got laid off. The newest teachers go first and with the economy in the drink like it is, even teachers who’ve been teaching for decades are getting pink slips.” Alex could hear the sound of fingers on a keyboard through the phone. “I talked to the principal at the school where she taught and she received glowing reports. No disciplinary actions, the kids loved her. They really didn’t want to let her go but she was one of the newest teachers so they didn’t have much choice.”

Tanya’s words were comforting and Alex knew this was probably just what Abbie needed. “Okay, set up an interview for tomorrow afternoon, about three o’clock, at Alki park, by the playground. I’d like to see how she interacts with Abbie.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know. Thank you, Mr. Clarke.”

Alex hung up the phone and returned to his daughter’s door, surprised to find that it was now unlocked. Abbie was situated in a beanbag chair watching cartoons on the television in the corner, thumb in her mouth, teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest. She was the picture of sweetness at moments like this and it was unfortunate that such moments were so rare these days.

“Hey squirt.” Alex lifted Abbie and sat down in her beanbag chair with her in his lap. “How about we go to the whale tail park tomorrow afternoon and play?”

Abbie looked at him as if trying to determine what his motivation was. He didn’t take her places very often because she usually ended up throwing a huge fit over something and making him feel like an even worse parent than he already did.

She nodded once and replied around her thumb, “Okay.” before returning her attention to the screen. If she knew they’d be meeting a potential new nanny, there was no way she would have agreed to go so willingly and he would have had to drag her to the car kicking and screaming. This way was better, she’d find out at the park and he’d have the chance to see how Miss Harland would handle his daughter’s public behavior.

And Abbie did not disappoint. The second she realized what was going on, it was almost as if she became possessed by something dark and malevolent.

“Abbie, this is Molly. Can you say hi?” Alex shook Molly’s hand and greeted her, startled by the zip of electricity that raced up his arm. He studied her face for a moment, looking to see if maybe she felt it too but her eyes were on Abbie. He almost felt guilty for putting her through this so early but if she was going to take care of his daughter, she had to know what she was in for up front.

“What’s she doing here?” Abbie asked suspiciously and glanced from one adult to the other and back again.

“She came to play with you.” Alex responded as cheerfully as possible even though he could see what was about to happen. But he had to see how Molly would handle Abbie when she was at her worst.

“I don’t wanna play with her; I wanna play with you, Daddy.” Abbie clung to Alex’s leg and looked up at him, her eyes brimming over with tears.

“I’ll play too, but Molly came here just to see you.” Alex tried to peel his daughter off of himself but she was stronger than he often gave her credit for being.

“NO! I only want youuuuuuu!” The shriek caused the other children at the park to stop playing and look their way, curiosity written all over their little faces. It was then that Alex realized he probably should have had this meeting somewhere a little more private.

Molly crouched down in front of Abbie and started talking quietly to her. Alex couldn’t hear what she was saying but his daughter obviously could as her shrieking softened to whimpers which soon turned to hiccups. At that point, without Abbie screaming, he could hear what was being said.

“…all the other kids thinking you’re not nice?”
Abbie shook her head and glanced toward the playground then back to Molly. “No, but I don’t wanna play with you.”

“Why not? I might be very fun to play with. I might know some games that you’d like to play.”

“What kinda games?” Abbie asked, her grip loosening on his leg and Alex was already impressed with Molly’s cool headed handling of the situation. She obviously knew how to talk to kids.

“Like hopscotch and four square, or jump rope and go fish, freeze tag and Old Maid. I don’t have any kids so I can’t play those games. I would really love to have someone to play them with.” Molly tucked a strand of strawberry blond hair behind her ear, drawing Alex’s gaze to the soft curve of her neck. He forced his attention back to Abbie as Molly added, “Can I play those games with you?”

Abbie considered the question, probably weighing the pros and cons like her mother often did, making lists in her head until she came to the best conclusion. If only her mother hadn’t come to the conclusion she had, then they wouldn’t be here, looking for another nanny. No, Abbie would have her mother raising her instead of a long line of strangers coming and going in her life. She turned her eyes up to Alex, looking for approval or encouragement, both of which he gave.

“Sounds like fun, which one do you want to play first?”

“What’s freeze tag?” Abbie asked, her thumb heading toward her mouth as it always did when she was upset or nervous.

“Well, one person gets to be ‘It’ and the other people try to run away. If the person who is ‘It’ tags you, then you have to freeze and stay still until someone else tags you, then you get to run again. If ‘It’ tags everyone then the game is over.” Molly explained in language a five year old could easily understand.

“Okay, let’s play that.” Abbie looked up again and said, “Daddy gets to be ‘It’ first.”

“I think that’s a great idea, Abbie.” Molly said and both took off at a run. Alex tried to find the best route to intersect Molly and tag her first because he knew Abbie would throw a fit if she got ‘out’ right away. He darted around the slide and ran across the play yard wood chips until he crossed paths with Molly.

She laughed and ran to the left but faked and went back to the right, easily maneuvering around him which left him nearly landing on his face as he tried to catch up with her.

“Come on Abbie, run faster so Daddy doesn’t get you.” Molly called out across the play area. She raced to the whale tail sculpture beside the playground giving Alex the perfect opportunity to go back around the slide and tag her, leaving her standing like a statue with her hands on one fin of the whale’s tail.

“Oh no Abbie, I’m frozen.” Molly called out and Alex couldn’t help but smile when Abbie giggled and ran in their direction. He backed off, allowing Abbie to dart in and unfreeze Molly and they both ran off again leaving Alex no choice but to run after them.

The afternoon flew by and Alex couldn’t remember ever having so much fun with his daughter. Other than when they’d first arrived, Abbie had been a joy to be around. She’d been cheerful and good natured in a way that Alex had never seen before and he decided then and there that Molly was exactly what his daughter needed.

Molly waved as she walked to her car and Alex assured her he’d be in touch about the job. He already knew the answer but he wanted to go through proper channels with the agency before letting her know it was official. Abbie fell asleep in the car on the way home and stayed asleep as Alex lifted her from her car seat and carried her inside. Dinner was quick and simple and Abbie was bathed and in bed asleep in record time. Playing at the park had worn her out and Alex was thrilled to have an evening of peace and quiet for a change instead of Abbie’s usual bedtime tantrums.

The following morning Alex made the call to the nanny agency and confirmed that he wanted to hire Molly Harland to tutor and look after Abbie. The agency assured him they would put the wheels in motion and after all the paperwork was in order, Molly would be free to start work the following Monday.

“Monday? She can’t start earlier than that? I have to be back on site in Japan Monday.” Alex hated having to travel so much but his job paid the bills and he was the boss. People counted on him for a lot of things. Not to mention he promised Lisa he’d be back Monday.

“I’ll see what I can do, Sir, but the paperwork takes some time. You can’t find someone else to watch her between now and Monday?” Tanya asked.

“I guess I could ask the housekeeper to do it a couple more days.” He hated asking Margie to keep Abbie all the time but there wasn’t any other choice. “Do the best you can for me.” Alex hung up and called Margie. His housekeeper had a daughter who was seven so it usually wasn’t a problem for Abbie to stay over for a few days but it would just be better when he’d have someone here at the house full time.

“Daddy?” Abbie stumbled into his office still half asleep, rubbing her eyes with one hand and dragging her blanket and teddy bear with the other. Her hair was a curly disaster that he knew would be a chore to tame but he smiled in spite of it. She was adorable in the morning and he just knew that when she got older, she’d be just like her mother. Kiara needed half a pot of coffee to be even mildly pleasant in the mornings and he’d known better than to even attempt conversation with her before she’d had her coffee.

“Good morning, baby. Did you sleep good?” Alex lifted his daughter into his lap and snuggled her close. She nodded her head and popped her thumb into her mouth as her eyes drooped. He wished she could be this sweet all the time because at times like this he wished he didn’t have to travel so much.

“I’m hungry, Daddy.” Abbie muttered around her thumb.

“You’re hungry? How hungry are you?” Alex leaned Abbie back and tickled her tummy, eliciting a giggle and a squeal. “Are you hungry enough to eat a goat?”

“Nooooo!”

“Are you hungry enough to eat your toes?” Alex grabbed her foot and wiggled it in front of her face.

“Noooo, Daddy, I want breakfast!” Abbie said with a laugh.

“You don’t want toes and goat for breakfast? Because that’s what I was going to fix.” He put on a faux sad face, his lip pouting out playfully. “I think it sounds yummy.”

“Eww. I want pancakes.”

“Oooh, you want that kind of breakfast.” Alex stood up and headed to the kitchen with Abbie over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She drummed him on the back with her hands and laughed until he set her in the chair at the counter so she could watch him cook. He was amazed by how relaxed he was and how agreeable his daughter was being. Obviously playing in the park yesterday had been good for her. Or maybe it was just Molly.

“Make mouse pancakes.” Abbie ordered, holding her hands up like mouse ears next to her head. “Like Mickey Mouse. That’s how Margie does it.”

“Hmm, Margie makes Mickey Mouse pancakes? Well, I’ll see what I can do.” Alex mixed the batter and poured three joining circles on the hot griddle. It was slightly lopsided but once it was chewed up no one would notice anyway. He flipped it over and a few moments later, put it on Abbie’s plate and pushed it across the counter to her.
Abbie frowned at the pancake and wouldn’t touch it.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s crooked. I want it to look like Mickey Mouse, like Margie makes.” Abbie pushed the plate back and Alex raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Abbie, you’re just going to eat it, it doesn’t have to look perfect.” Alex explained and pushed the plate back in front of his daughter.

She frowned again and unfortunately Alex didn’t see what was coming until it was too late. She gave the plate a hard shove, sending it skidding across the slick marble counter and into the floor as she shrieked, “It doesn’t look like Margie makes! I want Mickey Mouse like Margie makes!”

The plate shattered on the tile floor sending pieces of glass flying from one side of the kitchen to the other. And all the while Abbie continued to scream about Mickey Mouse and Alex knew the pleasant morning was now over all because Mickey Mouse’s ears didn’t look like Margie made them.

Alex wasn’t a yeller but he’d had enough. “Abigail be quiet this instant!” He roared and the sound was enough to startle Abbie and silence her. She looked at him in shock then promptly started to sob as if her heart was broken. Of course then he felt like a heel for it but enough was enough. He went carefully around the counter in his bare feet, avoiding the glass the best he could, and lifted Abbie from her chair. He set her down on the carpet in the living room and pointed to the stairs. Surprisingly she went without a fight, still crying at the top of her lungs, to her room.

“I can’t wait until Miss Harland gets here.” Alex muttered under his breath. This was getting to be more than he could deal with.