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Beguiling the Enemy

New Voices is meant to be a supportive community for fresh talent and we hope that commentors will bear that in mind when critiquing each other's entries.

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Your writing style and your chapters are compelling.

Kane is flawed, hot, dark and dangerous.

Personally, I would have preferred more of the Hero and Heroine together in the first chap but at least they did meet....

The start of the 2nd chap hooked me right in. But, having so much of it where the Hero and Heroine were not together felt a bit of a let down after I'd been hooked into reading on with the promise of now we'll get to the fun bit. This bit with Max and Xavier (too many x's?) felt a bit like talking heads to me too.

The last third of the 2nd chap was amazing and I went back to me needing to turn the page to read more a bout Cain and Kaitlin. Your definately skilled in the art of suspense and getting the reader to read on! I hope I get to read the pivotal moment.

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