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Beguiling the Enemy

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Eliana Robinson

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Hi Lindsay, good luck for the following round.

First I’d love to assure you my opinion is not devised from upset as a result of myself not making it.

I confess your entry didn't capture my eye before you made the top 21. Though I’ve made a large cup of tea and Sat down to read all 21 runners ups.
Yours I like a lot. It had a great hard-hit opener. I like the idea you created with an agency keeping tabs on the devilish kind of paranormal species that’s brilliant.
Kane holds promise to be a great beloved character in the end. However I must say I don't like him at the moment. Oh please don't take offense. I sincerely mean this to be of help. It’s a great first chapter however I’d focus a little on making your hero a 'dark yet loveible' man and not so much just a 'dark - question his decency.' Hero.
That’s just my opinion I wish you best of luck.
Look forward to reading chapter two.